ANGELIC’S ANSWERS - Angelic Artiaga

Lady N Ask:

I’ve been with my husband for sixteen years, I need to know what I can do to keep my man happy. Lately he’s been complaining that our sex life is boring and too short, what can i do to spice it up and keep him happy?

Angelic’s Answer:

Lady N.:

Boring and too short! Ouch! Well, I definitely understand your dilemma and I must say that you need to thank your luck stars that your husband of sixteen years is bold enough to complain about your boring sex life.
First, since he is telling you this, I would say that he is either ready to or has already ventured out, but wants you to do something to fulfill his fantasy that will stop him from venturing out.
Unfortunately, some men act on impulse, run around chasing their tails, and then return home regretful but hopeful for something new from the wives. I am not saying that this is the case with you, so please don’t be upset or start doing the unthinkable; snooping.
Some would say that you should ask him what would be long and exciting. But think about it, if you have been with him for sixteen years you should know what he likes by now. Besides that, unfortunately lots of men are usually sorry communicators. Forgive me men… but it is true.
They do understand that women are mental creatures and words mean the world to us, but don’t always care to cater to us with words. So I would ask you to skip out on frustrating yourself by questioning him.

Start with giving more him eye contact complete with a sweet smile; make him feel like he is turning you on whether you are alone or in the middle of a crowded room.

Role play always works.

Can you dance? Are you shy? Can you act? Are you ready to be interesting and new? Surprise him, tell him something new about yourself, change your hair, and buy some new sexy panties. Use a new fragrance (something edible) men are usually not crazy about chemical smells on a woman, he loves to eat and you need to seem edible. Have you ever tasted cologne? Did you like the flavor? I don’t think so.

Adopt yourself an alter ego. That way you will be a better actress and role play will feel okay.

Buy new bedding, candles, aromas, and paint the walls a new color (without his help). Pick a color that he will be happy with but keep it a surprise. Do it while he is a work one day and shock him when he gets home. Cozy things up, use warm colors, give him an at-home-hotel-room with a vacation feel.

Take my advice… everything in consideration… Keep me posted…

Auviour, Angelic

Scratching My Head Asked:

Blessings sister,
I’ve come to the realization that every man that I’ve met and spent time getting to know this year ended up getting into a relationship with other women. They would ask me what I’m looking for, I would tell them that I’m focused on establishing myself at the moment and not really looking for anything serious…but… I also tell them if I do find someone worth dating long term; I would have no problem doing so. They would say that they feel the same way but then after months of talking/hanging out, they decide to become involved with someone else. When they become involved w/the other female, they always want to keep me as a “friend”……They still try to call or hang out like nothing has changed, yet they have girlfriends. Am I missing something here? I was only intimate w/one of the guys. This situation has happened at least 5 times this year, no lie. Am I doing something wrong? This has never happened to me before and I’m starting to feel like something is wrong with me.

Scratching my head…

Angelic’s Answer:

Blessings to you Sister,
Whenever I receive a question for a person, I carefully read and re-read the writing. Most don’t announce important facts about themselves, leaving me to try to establish them for myself. From the greeting that you made to me Blessings sister, this tells me that you are mature, have great self identification, and respect for others as well as yourself. I have met many women that fit that category and do understand that side and other sides of them as well, and especially the romantic side.
My answer to two of your questions is “no”. Those being, is there something wrong with you and are you missing something. But, I am answering “yes”, to your question of doing something wrong. You are doing a few things wrong, according to your writing. Yes, calling and hanging out as if nothing has changed is something that should stop but there is something more important. The one thing that sticks out like a sore thumb is, “They would ask me what I’m looking for, I would tell them that I’m focused on establishing myself at the moment and not really looking for anything serious.” Bingo! That’s the culprit.
Now, let’s talk about how our minds work. The first impression is not only the first impression. It is the first, the last, and every impression in between. Think about it. You meet a man today, it’s a first date, he is polite, clean, smiles the entire time, and entertains you with romance that is out of this world.Topping the evening off with telling you that he is looking for a wife.
You date him for nine months. He gets relaxed, doesn’t shave as often, doesn’t bring flowers to dinner dates, stops opening doors, and marriage is the last thing that appears to be on his mind. You will always remember that when you first met him, he was the total opposite and most importantly, that he is looking for a wife. I repeat, he is looking for a wife. This is the very reason a woman will stay with that man, her mind has recorded and continues to replay her first impression. Her mind defines him with her first impression of him.
Men want to feel needed. We women are taught to be self sufficient. We are taught to make men feel as if they are not that important and not that needed when in fact we really do need them in more ways than one. It’s not about pretending to be weak, it is about being feminine.
When you say, I am not looking for anything serious, you become a friend forever, a friend that is not serious. When you say that I am focusing on myself, you become a person involved in individual achievements only. Remember people only retain a portion of what they hear. Then he meets a woman that says to him the same thing that you said but with different set of words. She says, “I’m looking to share my life and grow with a serious man that is interesting and interested in watching and growing with me.” Voila! You’ve got him. An intelligent, focused, intriguing woman offering a challenge. That man will now go out of his way to be the chosen one.
My advice to you is simple, change your opening statement. Yes they will agree with any statement, like your original one, it’s basic academia. It is as simple as someone telling you to have a good day, and your mind automatically responds with, you do the same. Not a thought out well wish for their day but an effortless response.
I do hope that this makes sense to you and that it works from here on out. Keep in touch with me and let me know how things are working out. Until later, stay everything that you are.

Auvoiur, Angelic

Sarah Asked:

I have a question for you. I have this guy I’m talking to but I don’t like the fact that he talks to his ex-girlfriend still. What Should I do? I really like him and I don’t want him to stop talking to me and get back with his ex-girlfriend, it happened to me a couple of times and I don’t want it to happen again!

Sarah

Angelic’s Answer:

Well Sarah,
I’m going to take the word talking and make it dating. I hope that I am correct in doing that. You don’t like him talking to his ex. I’m going to take that word talk and leave it at that. The first thing that I would demand from you is self confidence. As in animals, the same is true with humans, especially men, fear has an easily detected scent. You can be as nice, sweet, quiet, and cooperative as Mother Teresa as you want, but if you are not confident all of that will go unnoticed.
Now for tactic.
Number one rule of thumb. Never let him end the conversation. You always hang up first! I’m telling you that simple act makes all the difference in the world! Imagine this. He says, “Yeah… ok… well let me call you back, I have to …” When you allow that, you are allowing him to tell you that he has had enough of you for now. Ugh! Not cute. Now flip it around. Feels better right.
The number two rule is to always remain mysterious. Men are like children. Are lovers of the art of the chase. Want what they can’t have, want to explore where they have never been before, and always want something fun and new. Tell him something new about your self. Start the conversation off with something crazy like- “Guess what? I’ve been meaning to tell you that I get off on being fed mango while standing in the rain..”.– Now that may or may not be true. The point is that it is imaginative and entertaining, great for conversation, and can lead to an invitation to do it together. True story, I had locked eyes with this gorgeous guy one time, (this was before I was married) I wanted to meet him, was attracted to him, and didn’t want to let him get away. So I made eye contact with him, started moving in his direction right away, never taking my eyes off of him, that made him do the same, he watched me move towards him, until I stop only a few inches away. It was early February. I didn’t want to offer the usual hello, so I lean in close to him and said, “Would you be my Valentine?” He thought that was cute, had never been approached in that way. He said yes to me and the rest was history…
Now, as far as your guy’s ex goes. Ex’s or Ex’s for a reason. There must have been something wrong. The kryptonite to a budding relationship is to allow space for ex lover conversations. Don’t ever mention her name, or complain if he speaks to you about her. Don’t get an attitude if he does it. Just listen and respond with something like “Aww that’s too bad OR pathetic.” Say it with a sympathetic tone. If he tries to engage you further in the conversation, just brush it off with something like, “I don’t know anyone like her so I couldn’t imagine what to say about that.” Then switch the subject, bring his attention back to you with a new and mysterious fact. It is silly and childish for him to talk to you about her but men are not born knowing that and have to be taught. There is nothing more sexy than a confident man. I personally hate it when a man tries to speak to me about my past or present relationship. And please believe me, men feel the same.
I do hope that things turn out great for you. Don’t be afraid to do the things that I have just said. I’m sure that they will work. Please stay in touch with me and let me know how things turn out. If you need more answers, all you have to do is let me know.
Until later…

Auviour. Angelic

Looking At The Door Asked:

Why do people stay in relationships out of comfort?
Singned,
-Looking at the door-

Angelic’s Answer:

Dear Looking at the door:
Have you taken a careful look at what is on the other side of the door? If not, you may want to.
True story: From my house, I can see a beautiful golf course. The well manicured grass always looked to be so beautiful, healthy, and inviting from my inside of my second story window. That was until I decided to go down to the course and hit a few balls, no pun intended.
Well, after suiting up and dressing for the occasion, including spiked golfing shoes, soft golfing gloves, expensive clubs, and a sun visor for giving me a clear view, I was able to see that the beautiful, healthy, and manicured grass was not as beautiful and inviting up close as it was from inside of my second story window. I saw huge ants, both black and red, sand, weeds, and an abundance of abrasions made from the many golf clubs that had taken a swing at the balls that once sat on little golf tee’s. Needless to say; I had a new outlook on the illusion depicted from the inside of my second story window. It was not so great; in fact my grass was much healthier because at least it didn’t have foreign fleas, sand, and tiny potholes made by the hundreds of strangers that had walked its turf. With that, I must say that all that glitters ain’t gold.
However, I must also say that your lawn may be riddled with too much dog piss and you do need to move. I’m not absolutely sure of the comfort that you are referring in your relationship question. But, when I think of the word comfort, I think of being comfortable and to be comfortable means to be in solace.
So, let’s pretend you misused the noun comfort and meant to use the noun complaisance; I would have a different answer. So let’s use the noun complaisance. I would say that one of our greatest human attributes is to be gracious and clingy to familiarity. The uncertainty of the unknown can be halting to a fault. The fear of the unknown and the thought of losing or making wrong decisions are noteworthy in all of us. These are the reasons that people make the decision to stay when they THINK that they really want to walk through the door that they are looking at. If you are looking at the door for a particular reason and you want to know what you should do, ask me, and I will tell you how I think you should handle that and perhaps we can make a decision together that may lead you to a greater comfort…
Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to give you my spin on this very sensitive place in your heart.
Until later…
Auviour. Angelic