I had plans for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday the 14th.
Friday
I walked into a novelty shop and a cute little clerk dressed as a French maid approached me.
She said, “Welcome to Vanity’s Chest. Are you looking for anything special today?”
With a devilish smile, I said, “Yes, actually I am. I want to recreate my man.”
She was puzzled.
I explained. “I want to replicate my man’s penis.”
“Oh!” she snapped, “So you want a vibrator. Follow me. We have an amazing selection.”
I followed her to shelves holding big ones and small ones and colorful ones. She picked up a big blue one that had rings of pearls and a hummingbird attached. She pushed a button and it lit up. The pearls started rotating and the hummingbird’s little beak jittered at the speed of light.
I looked at it, and then back at her, “Wow… Interesting. But… my man doesn’t vibrate nor does he have a little hummingbird beak attached to him.”
She stood it back onto the shelf and said, “Perhaps you would like a dildo instead?”
Read More
